Pain In The Fruit

"I chose you from the world, to go and bear fruit that will last, says the Lord" -John 15:16

"No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends." -John 15:13

                     The thought of being chosen can be a pretty exciting thing. No one wants to be the last kid chosen on the kickball team. It can be gut wrenching to be passed along for a promotion. And most of us at some point in our lives have experienced the heartache of a potential love choosing a different direction than one that includes us.

                   But we also find great joy in "being chosen"! The romance of a new relationship! The deep bond of marriage! The joy of being the number one pick in the backyard!

             For all the importance we place on "being chosen" our Lord reminds us that there are some pretty lofty expectations that come with the status. Do we back down? Do we walk away? Sometimes. But most often when that happens we are left with that empty feeling of disappointment. But what happens when we arise to the challenge? 

           Jesus tells us that He has chosen us from the world so that we may go and bear fruit that will last. What lofty expectations! What excitement! ...How terrifying!

          Amanda and I have 5 children in 9 years of marriage. We're accomplishing that fruitfulness in the physical way at a rapid pace! Most people who have met my kids will tell me how wonderful they are. What loving! Generous! And caring! Kids you have! All very true statements. We've been blessed with good kids and its something we work hard on behind closed doors at home. But what most people don't see is all the screaming and crying and banging of wills that also goes on behind close doors... by me. 

        Often I think we fall into the trap of thinking we've got it all figured out as adults. Especially as you start having children you focus so hard on making sure "they're good kids" that we usually forget that we're also still trying to figure out this thing called life. In all the life lessons imparted upon our children, it's important that we look inside as well and make sure that we too are "good people."

     It is a very exciting thing to consider God Himself has called each of us to this grand adventure of life. But it's no easy thing to lay down ones life for a friend or anyone else for that matter. There is a reason we get excited about the prospect of accomplishing challenges that are placed in our life. It's a good thing. But within that good thing there is often pain and struggle.

These things aren't typically viewed as good things- but I'd argue that they are! With the pain and struggle comes a better understanding of not only ourselves, but a view of the way the world should really work. 

     I recently watched a documentary about a man named Solanus Casey. He was a Capuchin Friar but he wasn't a very educated man. He was always given the most menial jobs and often found himself sitting in a room for hours on end listening to peoples' worst problems as the porter for the house he stayed at. Through this simple act of listening and quiet advice he changed the lives of those visiting. 

    "Be a porter" is something I find myself saying not nearly enough in the struggles of my everyday life. Through the eyes of this porter, more often than not, I can realize that my struggles are really self inflicted. They, like most things, are a struggle of pride. I want my way. I want my time. I want my things. 

"Be a porter" allows me to sit by my child's bed in the middle of the night as he falls back to sleep rather than cursing the thought of his existence while I desperately just want to get back to bed myself. "Being a porter" allows me to sit through the same chapter of a story my daughter is writing for the tenth time just because she wants her daddy to listen and take pride in her work rather than brushing her off and asking her to share it with someone, anyone, but me in that moment. "Being a porter" allows me to watch my son hit yet another "game winning homerun" in the backyard during one of his imaginary games rather than leaving him alone to bask in his own glory all the while simply desiring my attention. 

 

All these moments of "Being a porter" provide two things beyond just the immediate satisfaction that my children receive. First, it teaches me discipline and takes me outside of myself and shows me that there are people in this world who not only need me but benefit from my own sacrifice and generosity. Secondly, whether my children see it in the moment or not; it gives my children an example to model their own lives off of. My hope is given a situation that their first reaction won't be "what do I get out of this" but rather "how can help" or "what's the right thing to do here?"

    

 I fail constantly at this. My children fail constantly at this. We as a society fail constantly at this! But don't give up! It's a commission from our Lord! For some insane reason He thinks we can do it. Maybe it has "something" to do with the fact that we are created in HIS Image. That thought gives me hope each and every day of my life. When things get too hard- I don't just think God's asking me of this. No, I'm made in His Image- that means something. That means, one way or another, I can do this. 

Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read!

God bless,

Jim