Angry Jim

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28

 

 

 

Do you ever feel that way? Just put a can over your head and bam away? I had what some might call a bad day the other day. If you follow my feeds on Facebook you probably know. Typically I try to remain positive and channel my anger. But the other day... I was just a winy little girl (sorry ladies).

 

 

It certainly made for some humorous moments throughout the day:

 

 

 

 

But the fact of the matter was that my bad day directly resulted in my kids crazy behavior. Did I see that in the moment? Of course not. Instead I blamed my bad attitude on the kids. "If they'd just clean up." "If they just wouldn't argue." "If they'd just eat the food they actually asked for!" Blah. Blah. Blah.

 

And blah, blah, blah, is how I felt most of the day. It wasn't until just before nap time that something pretty amazing happened. I found myself kind of begrudgingly apologizing to Bob and Mary for being so grumpy that day when Bob looked at me and threw my own advice right back into my face.

 

You see most days in order to go to Mass Bob needs to "pause" or break off one of his epic playtime movies he's created in his head with his toys. So fair enough, he gets kind of angry. The way I deal with that anger will determine how well Mass will go a half hour later.

 

So usually I'll try and calmly approach him down at his level and listen to all his complaints. Then I'll tell him something like; "That's good Bob. I'm sorry you're so angry, but we need to go... or you'll get to play some more when we get back... etc." Usually he'll respond with more bouts of anger and frustration. So at that point I'll say; "You know what. We're headed to Mass anyway, so why don't you talk to Jesus about it. Tell God how angry you are and ask Him to take it away."

 

So the other day in the midst of my self pity and loathing Bob turns to me and says: "Dad, you should give your anger to Jesus."

 

You know what Bob? You're right.

 

So, while sitting at the table with Bob to my right and Mary to my left I put out my hands and prayed allowed to God apologizing for my grumpiness that day, and for not being nice to Bob and Mary, and asked Him to take my anger away.

 

When I had finished my prayer I opened my eyes and Bob and Mary were sitting there watching me in silence. There was a sense between us that things were going to be okay. From there the kids finished playing, took their naps, and the day drastically improved.

 

 

"Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 19:14

 

 

It's amazing how quickly they forgave me and forgot about the rough morning. Where I had spent the better half of a day wallowing in my own pity the kids were able to just let it roll off their backs. Reflecting back on it I can now see that everything was my own fault.

 

There are direct lines between my actions and everything that happened that day. It really had all started the night before. I went to bed about an hour and a half later than I wanted to because my beautiful wife wanted to watch tv with me. No big deal- I do actually like spending time with her :)

 

But then when it was time to go to bed she remained downstairs to pay some bills (serving me) while I headed upstairs. Well the nerve! I was angry because I was going to bed by myself? I know I'm an idiot.

 

But I actually tossed and turned about it for a while. So much so that it actually affected my sleep. So the next morning I angrily decided to stay in bed rather than go pray. After that the day got started with me being unprepared for the kids to wake up and everything became a rush.

 

In my frustration and self pity I decided we weren't going to go to Mass. There was no way I wanted to deal with these kids in public today! But staying home wasn't any better. The laziness and frustration that led me to stay home only continued in my interactions with the kids and my duties around the house. So we stayed home when getting out of the house and receiving God's grace at Mass was probably the best thing for us.

 

All of this had built on top of each other to produce a day that well- is better off forgotten.

 

 

 

 

But through God's grace and my son's Christ like faith it all changed. My decisions good and bad affected my day in ways I hadn't really realized.

 

I guess the point I'm trying to make in all this is that the decisions we make each day are important. It's okay to have a bad day now and again- but what do we do with our anger? How do we deal with it? Just as grace builds upon grace- sin also builds upon sin.

 

So yeah, maybe we need to take some time to ourselves every once in a while. But when the grumpies come around the best course of action is to just "give your anger to Jesus."

 

Thanks Bob for reminding me. And thanks to all of you for taking the time to read.

 

God bless,